Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6 (NRSV)
PRAYER
Dear God:
I so much want to be in control.
I want to be the master of my own destiny.
Still I know that You are saying:
"Let me take you be the hand and lead you.
Accept my love and trust that where I will bring you,
the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled."
Lord, Open my hands to receive Your gift of love.
Amen.
Henri Houwen
With Open Hands
WELCOME
This is the third in the series of Leadership Tools as a part of the MME. Multiple contributions from many writers will provide a variety of perspectives and many resources for the leaders seeking to transform the organizations they are called to lead. Ralph Vaughan Williams is reported to have said, "Music did not reveal all of its secrets to just one person." That perspective can be applied to most any topic and certianly to the subject of leadership.
Over the next months and years the subjects covered will address the following areas:
• Transformational Leadership Tools
• Tools for Leading Teams
• Conflict Management Tools
• Personal Care Tools
• Planning Tools
This Leadership Tools edition of MME will be presented in the following format:
Foundations
Preparing yourself for leadership
Relationships
Strengthening the connections with people we serve
Systems
Developing and maintaining healthy systems for leading groups
Balance
Strategies for spiritual, physical and mental centering
Quotes
Words of wisdom and encouragement
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Coaching For Transformation
The spring and early summer days are filled with new life and hope as seen in the coming forth of the many species of butterflies. The process that gives transformation of this tiny creature from a strange little larva into one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet is called metamorphosis. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, metamorphosis and transformation are virtually the same. The word “transformation” gets its meaning from two parts: first the prefix “trans” (from the Latin) meaning “across, beyond or through.” The second part is “form” (from Middle English “forme” or Latin “forma”) meaning beauty. Therefore one can define transformation as the process for assisting persons or organizations across, beyond and through their present state of stuckness to a more beautiful existence in life.
Gene Rooney describes transformation as metamorphosis when he says, “Metamorphosis is the change process which takes us from the problem state to our desired state, from our stuck state to the state of moving towards our goal.” (Rooney, Eugene, Metaphors for Metamorphosis, pp. 8) Therefore, coaching for transformation is helping to move a person across, beyond and through their stuckness. The seasoned coach does this by helping the person being coached understand the differences between change, transition and transformation.
Change, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is a verb meaning “to make different.” Change is an external action or reaction that takes place in our life. For example, you can “change your clothes” or “change your external behavior” or “change the tone of your voice.” Change effects our environment and our physical body. It makes a difference in the exterior of the person or organization. This is why the coach must go deeper with the person being coached to help him/her discover the real reasons for their stuckness.
Transition, on the other hand, is the internal process that impacts the mental state of the person. Transition is a psychological process that takes much longer to work through. Transition is defined by William Bridges as a process that leads one through “endings, a period of confusion, and into new beginnings.” (Bridges, William, Transitions, 1980.) Coaches who assist their clients in looking at their stages of transition will move them toward the ultimate goal of transformation or “getting beyond their state of stuckness.”
Transformation is where the coach really shows his/her handiwork. Transformation is deep core; it is at the heart and soul of the individual. Transformation is struggling with the spiritual realm. This level is where the really powerful breakthroughs occur.
Coaching for transformation is a process that is both progressive and instantaneous. When coaching for transformation the coach is not alone, the Spirit is operational both in the coach’s life and the life of the person being coached. Many times you will discover the Spirit at work. The Trinity relationship of the person being coached, the coach and the Spirit will bring new depth and long lasting results to the coaching relationship. In your next coaching session why not try coaching for transformation.
Dr. Jim R. Wadford is a partner with The Kilgore Group and the founder and senior coach of Coaching & Consulting International, LLC. Coaching & Consulting International is a coaching, training and consulting business in Charlotte, North Carolina. Jim has much experience in organizational development. He led in the restructuring and transition of the Cabarrus Baptist Association from a committee-led organization to an innovative team structure. Dr. Wadford is an excellent trainer and executive coach with over four hundred and fifty logged hours of coaching since 2003.
Jim graduated from Southern Wesleyan University in Central, SC with a BA in Biblical Studies. He also holds a Masters degree from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, NC., and a Doctorate from Drew Theological Seminary in Madison, NJ.
THE CHURCH DROP-OUT
Why Committed Christians Leave
Their Local Church
John S. Savage, D.Min.
Several years ago I wrote an article for Leadership Magazine called “The Teflon Church.” What Teflon meant was slippery and non bonded folks who sometimes make up a congregation. It also refers to the church that is losing its membership.
In recent years I have found another phenomenon that is having people leave their local church and seek other groups or churches beyond their own, particularly persons who have been very active and committed for many years. I remember having some of my own parishioners tell me that they had “outgrown my church” and were either looking for other churches or simply going nowhere. I did not know what I now know. How does a person “out grow” a local church? What does that mean?
It may mean:
1. The person has both needs and experiences that tell them that the God (Christ) they had come to “hear” about was no longer adequate for what they were facing in their life.
2. That their spiritual needs were requiring a more personal intimate connection with God than their local church could deliver.
3. That “religion” had become churchy and institutionalized, ridged and stifling and did not help them find “Spirituality” in the best sense of that word. They say to me, when I act as their spiritual director, that they have been “Bibled to death” with years of Biblical teaching, but they still did not know an intimate personal relationship with God. They had never been taught by their church how to pray and how to dialogue with the God who loved them.
They had never been instructed on how to meditate, contemplate or become ”Awake” to God’s presence in every experience of their life – thus they had gorged themselves with Biblical teachings that left them with great biblical knowledge but no relationship with the God that gave that teaching to them.
They could tell you every Biblical story but they had never incorporated any of its truth into their own life because they only knew about God but never knew God in any personal way.
Many of the people who come to see me for spiritual help were very active church members but by mid-life something happened to them that made it almost impossible to stay in their local church. Some of these people were pastors of those churches and even they could not find it possible to remain without “giving away their soul.”
I have never written about this before but I place it here for you to consider. I have worked with many church drop-outs but these people who have a spiritual need to find something deeper and more powerful and will seek to the ends of the earth to find it.
What is your experience with what I am talking about?
Join John Savage in a free lesson on The Apathetic and Bored Church Member. To register for this free 60 minute teleseminar go to http://www.leadershipteleseminar.com
John S. Savage, D.Min., founder and past president of L.E.A.D. Consultants, Inc., is a lecturer, trainer, consultant, author, and pastor. He is a member of The Kilgore Group, an international group of consultants and trainers. He has served as a United Methodist minister (member of the Western New York Conference) and as a psychotherapist, certified by Colgate Rochester Divinity School, where he completed a two-year internship at Rochester General Hospital. He a certified Minister of Music and holds a degree in music from Syracuse University School of Music. In addition, he received graduate degrees, a M.Div. and a D.Min. from Colgate Rochester Divinity School and an M.A. in education from Syracuse University.
As a consultant to many organizations, Dr. Savage works in the areas of educational designing, problem solving, conflict management, team building, and leadership development. He has designed special training events in the fields of Spiritual Intelligence, How to Manage Transitions, and The Tenacious Dreamer. He has instructed courses at Princeton Theological Seminary, Seabury-Western Theological Seminary, Toronto School of Theology, and other educational institutions. Find out more on John Savage at: www.thekilgoregroup.com
Meetings Create Conflict
Hugh Ballou
As I lead planning teams or focus groups that are developing strategies for organizations, the beginning point is defining how teams make decisions together.Team meetings build community or destroy it. I teach teams and team leaders how to hold productive meetings.
The simple skill of conducting meetings can be a strong contributor in the creation of conflict in teams. Passive resistance to ineffective meetings manifests itself in several ways:
- participants arrive late and/or leave early
- participants “check-out” by doing other work or typing on a computer
- some may argue or object to minor points
- some may ramble on about something not on the agenda and not relevant to the meeting
- generally those unhappy with meetings will tell the leader in non-direct ways. The effective leader will observe this behavior and ask for clarification.
Effective team meetings build community, build trust and create energy, especially when they is a chance for the team to arrive at a consensus and build synergy through decision-making. Steven Covey, in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, defines synergy as a result that is greater than the sum of the parts. When teams synergize, then the results are magnified. John Maxwell is quoted as saying: Collaboration is multiplication. The old saying goes like this: None of us is as smart as all of us! The point is simply that some work is done alone, however, many church staff projects depend on the team. There is a better way to develop teams--ways that will use creative conflict as creative tools for decision-making.
Hugh’s 10 secrets for Group Synergy Conducting Power-Packed Meetings:
- Clearly state the purpose for the meeting
Plan the meeting thoroughly
Identify the leader/moderator/facilitator of the meeting
Begin and end on time
Design ways to prompt input from each attendee
Create a group list of “norms” for process together
Record the group’s information where all can see
Review the entire agenda for the session at the beginning
Stay in control of the meeting
- Do not adjourn without setting accountability standards
Get the article at: http://www.leaderstransform.com/products.htm#Articles:_
Hugh Ballou is founder of SynerVision International, Inc., a facilitation, consulting and training practice in Blacksburg, VA. For many years, Hugh has been working with leaders in businesses, schools, churches, non-profit organizations, and community groups, leading project teams to find consensus, even with very difficult decisions. Before his full-time work as facilitator, consultant and executive coach, he served as Director of Worship Ministries, staff strategist and facilitator in churches of up to 12,000 members.
In addition to managing project teams as a neutral facilitator, Hugh is also skilled in leading workshops, retreats and seminars on planning, reorganization, and goal setting. Hugh has served in leadership roles as a business owner and chamber of commerce president, as a church musician, worship planner and worship leader in various church settings. Organizations in conflict and those desiring to move effectiveness to the next level are candidates for Hugh’s services. In his major work with many diverse types of organizations, Hugh teaches teams how to build competencies and accountabilities into group process through reaching consensus. Hugh’s passion is to make a difference in people’s lives by teaching relational strategies resulting in a community of teamwork with unity of purpose. His web site is http://www.synervisioninternational.com. Effective Transformational Leaders build great teams. More information on Transformational Leadership at http://www.leaderstransform.com Tending Your Soul
Esther Burroughs
Part 4
Tending your treasures nourishes the heart.
What do you treasure? What is God’s design and purpose through your life this year? It is far too easy to get carried away with women’s events for the sake of the event. A purpose statement gives direction to you and your ministry. One of the dearest treasures in my heart is reading books. I cherish these friends and their impact on my life. I would suggest that you have a favorite bookshelf that holds your life-altering' books. Map out a yearly reading plan, ensuring that you feed and delight your soul with words written by fellow travelers who keep you in focus with your life/ministry purpose statement. Richard Foster’s book, Simplicity, is a re-read for me seasonally. Having a personal and ministry purpose statement will bring focus to your ministry. You will discover the author’s thought and words coming out of your heart as you lead. Of course, you will give credit to the author for his/her impact on your life.
When activity crowds it’s way into your schedule, and it will, check the activity against your purpose statement. This will help you say no more often, which means you are saying yes to what matters the most, particularly to nourishing your soul. No is a complete sentence. Activity, for activities sake, does not extend the kingdom. It just keeps the subjects too busy doing,--ather than being.
Ask yourself and the team what the purpose is in planning an event and how this will help meets the ministry goals and the needs of women. Women are activity driven. Christ calls us to relationship, not activity. I’ve found that the relationship of tending the soul helps give balance to activity we pursue.
How long has it been since you did something for yourself that brought you ‘childlike delight.’ When you do something for yourself, you feel a sense of joy that lifts your heart and lightens your spirit.
Delights like:
Re-arranging furniture, giving newness
Reading a novel--allowing escape
Completing a needle point piece--enjoying creativity
Weeding/planting in the garden--bringing calmness
Catching up on photo albums--bringing order
Flowers on the table--releasing beauty
Redesigning a closet/cabinet--embracing freshness
Time for your hobby--allowing playfulness
Day at the spa--bringing relaxation and wholeness
Holding your treasures close enough so as not to neglect them will nourish your soul, bringing playfulness and delight that touches not only your heart--but spills out on those whose lives you touch. They will feel the joy in you, drawing them closer to the God of all creation and recreation. God speaks to His people Israel through Jeremiah the prophet, telling them He has loved them with an everlasting love, drawn them with loving kindness, "and their soul shall be a watered garden and they shall never languish again.”
The life of a leader must balance tending the soul, temple and the treasures of the heart, becoming a ‘well watered garden’ bringing refreshment to self and others.
Esther Burroughs is founder of Esther Burroughs Ministries: Treasures of the Heart, and is the beloved author of Engraved by Grace, Splash the Living Water, Treasures of a Grandmother’s Heart, A Garden Path to Mentoring and Empowered. She has addressed tens of thousands of women from small group retreats to arena events, and understands the thirst of today’s Christian woman for intimacy with God. Esther previously served with the Southern Baptist Home Mission Board (now North American Mission Board) promoting strategies of evangelism for women. She travels extensively throughout the U.S. and Canada speaking to women’s groups. Esther and Bob, her husband of 47 years, reside in South Carolina. They have two adult children and five grandchildren. Web site: http://www.estherbministries.com
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Next Week's Monday Morning Email
Be sure not to miss next week's edition of MME. The topic is "Professional Tools" edited by Doug Lawrence. The section titled Four ways to get along with colleagues you wouldn't have as friends will provide some very useful tips for your work with colleagues.
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorothea Brande
Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
- Oprah Winfrey
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
- Thomas H. Huxley
We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.
- Earl Nightingale